Chapter 35 - The Cliché Protagonist Playbook, Rule #1
Why did he have to show up now of all times?
He must have seen the entire exchange with the upperclassmen as he was giving me a look of total suspicion.
(You should’ve come a little earlier, man…)
If Sanada had arrived while I was still in the restroom, he would’ve been the one to save Mogami-san. But he showed up only after I had already resolved the problem.
(Wait… maybe I’m the irregularity here, and Sanada’s arrival was actually the correct timing?)
It’s a well-known rule that heroes always make their entrance late. If I hadn’t been here, Sanada would have appeared when Mogami-san was in a much more serious bind. If he had shown up gallantly and saved her then, it would have been a huge, dramatic plot event.
But I went and solved the whole thing anti-climactically before any tension could even build up. Thinking about it like that, I couldn’t help but feel a little guilty.
Sorry, Sanada. I stole the event where you were supposed to shine.
"Didn't you just say you weren't going out with her?"
“...Hmm.”
Well, this is awkward. How the hell am I supposed to respond to this?
I was hesitating, trying to think about future developments and what the best response would be, when help arrived from a very unexpected place.
“—We’re not.”
The voice came from behind me. Mogami-san, who had been shrinking back and trying to hide just a moment ago, spoke up. Never in a million years did I think this moment would be when she finally had her first proper conversation with Sanada.
"Sato-kun was just telling a white lie to help me out. We’re not actually dating."
…Ohh. Right. Yes, that's right.
Perhaps Mogami-san had finally started to awaken her self-awareness as a heroine. She was properly explaining things so that Sanada wouldn't misunderstand her relationship with me.
That’s a relief. With this, I wouldn't have to deal with Sanada's hostility anymore. Or so I foolishly thought.
"So please, don't say things like that. It would be a bother for him."
…That’s not it, Mogami-san. That’s not it at all.
I mean, it's not like I'd actually be bothered by people thinking we're dating. That's one part of it, sure. But even more than that...
“He’s not the kind of guy someone like me could ever date. Sato-kun is a really wonderful person, and just being close to him makes me so happy… so please, don’t make fun of him like that.”
Her logic was completely backwards. She wasn't denying it for Sanada's sake. She was denying it because of the affection she held for me. In other words, the one she was being considerate of was Sato Satoru—me. There was no way this was going to put Sanada's mind at ease. If anything, it probably turned his vague suspicion into absolute conviction.
“I-I see… Sorry. That was a weird thing to ask.”
He acts all tough with me, but he's a total wimp in front of the heroine. He just meekly apologized, following the cliché rom-com protagonist playbook to the letter. Pathetic. Truly pathetic, Sanada. Why are you so goddamn useless around the heroines? If you'd just had any kind of backbone, this rom-com might not have gotten cancelled! It could have actually been interesting! Get it together, Sanada Saiga!
“So, that means… Mogami, you’ve got a one-sided crush on him, huh?”
And on top of that, he doesn't even know when to quit. That was the last thing he should’ve said out loud. Because the answer was already obvious.
“I-I-I-It’s not like that at all!”
Her reaction couldn’t have been any clearer. I wasn’t dense enough to take her words at face value. Just looking at her bright-red face, her high-pitched voice, the way she was frantically waving her hands... and her chest shaking from the movement made it very clear. Okay, the chest part wasn’t really necessary, but you get what I mean.
“...Is that so? That’s all I needed to hear. Sorry for interrupting.”
Yeah. Sanada, you’re hopeless. Why would you believe what she said at face value?
“Ahh, that’s a relief. So Mogami doesn’t have a one-sided crush on him.”
If that’s what you honestly thought, then you really are the ultimate pathetic dumbass of a protagonist.
Even I, a man who, in my previous life, had zero interaction with women and lived and died for my job, could tell how Mogami-san truly felt.
In the end, Sanada Saiga was exactly what I thought he was.
He's nothing more than a completely hopeless, cliché rom-com protagonist, right down to his core—.
