V2 - Chapter 12

Volume 2 - Me, Her, and that Feeling's Name 

Chapter 12

Chinatsu watched Hajime go to the court as he said he'd be back in a bit, and then she sat down on a bench.

She also saw him casually bringing out the towel she had given him as a thank-you last time, which warmed her heart.

“...Don't tell me, did you get a boyfriend or something?”

Were the words asked by a classmate to her the other time, which she had managed to shrug off by mentioning her mother’s hospitalization. She didn’t directly deny it either because she understood her own situation well.

In recent days, Chinatsu found herself growing more accustomed to having Hajime close by. Each day, the space he occupied in her thoughts and heart was slowly becoming more significant.

Even so, she didn't intend to continue this vague relationship as it was, but at the same time, she felt comfortable in this relationship which was more than friends but less than lovers.

“I’m so glad to see you again, Chinatsu-chan. How are you? Are you getting along well with Hajime-chi?”

Kana-san, appearing in her field of view, waved and sat next to her with a smile as Chinatsu nodded in her direction.

Although it was just their second time meeting, seeing an acquaintance in such an unfamiliar place felt genuinely pleasant to her.

“Good evening, Kana-san. Yes, we are getting along but…”

“…Hm? You seem troubled? That’s great! This is what youth is all about! Feel free to consult with this onee-san about anything!”

Kana-san was in high spirits.

Seeing her vibrant smile, Chinatsu considered sharing about the matters that were troubling her.

She absolutely couldn’t share her troubles with her high school friends, given what might happen the moment she did, and she dismissed the idea of turning to her mother, frowning about how she had been acting recently.

Two months prior, she would have never imagined harboring such worries. Even if she had concerns, consulting others about them would have been unthinkable to her back then. However, at this moment, Chinatsu desired someone’s advice. Perhaps the lady before her could provide counsel based on her experiences.

“Then, if you don’t mind… can I ask for advice?”

“Of course, lay it all on me.”

“…Kana-san, do you think that the feeling of wanting to kiss or touch someone is different from liking them or wanting to be with them?”

“Oh? You’re really getting straight to the point, huh… but, hehehe… oh, sorry, sorry. I wasn’t mocking you, it’s just that I’ve had the same thoughts once before too.”

Kana-san responded with a broad, genuinely happy smile to Chinatsu’s candid question, causing Chinatsu to widen her eyes, feeling a bit surprised by her words before looking at her again.

“Eh? You too, Kana-san?”

“Well, yeah. Even us girls have times when we want to do things we want with someone, but uh, how do I put this, it’s like something close to ‘desire’? It’s normal to be conflicted about those feelings. Correct me if I’m wrong but you and Hajime-chi aren’t dating yet, right?”

“‘Not yet,’ …Ah, yes. I might come off as pretending to be pure and innocent if I say this, but… things like dating and stuff, just gives me feelings of fear. But still, I do find myself wanting to kiss or wanting to touch… so I was just feeling conflicted if what I was feeling might just be lust or something…”

“Hmm, that might be the case. Anyway, the only advice I can give you is…”

Even though Chinatsu was struggling to articulate her feelings, she was managing to put them into words, and Kana-san, who was attentively listening while nodding, trailed her words off.

“Yes.”

Chinatsu nodded as if urging her to continue——

“Just go for it.”

“…Excuse me?”

Chinatsu froze at the words that followed.

Seeing her, Kana-san just laughed out loud.

“Hahaha, don’t just freeze up like that. I wasn’t entirely joking. I meant it seriously. So, here's the thing: if you want to date someone just because you want to kiss them, or get close to someone because you want to do lewd things with them, it usually always ends up with you losing interest after doing all those things... But, if that's not the case, then even after doing those things, you’ll feel like you want to do even more with them, and you’ll realize just how much you like them.”

Saying so, Kana-san briefly glanced towards Aizawa.

The game seemed to have already ended and he was talking to Hajime and some adults Chinatsu had seen before while having some drinks.

“Anyway, the thing is, at least for me, I can't tell beforehand whether it’s going to be that way or not. Still, if you find yourself wanting to go a bit further, the question becomes whether you did it out of lust, love, or affection——.”

“…But, what if, even after doing it, it turns out to be different?”

“Eh? Well, there’s nothing you can do about it, it just means that you weren’t meant to be.”

When Chinatsu voiced her concern, Kana-san responded casually, almost nonchalantly. 

But perhaps exactly because of that attitude, Chinatsu found herself thinking that Kana-san had probably been through similar experiences and had come to these conclusions naturally.

“...I see.”

“But, considering we’re talking about Hajime-chi here, I think you’ll be fine. You could even discuss what you just told me with him... Though, since he’s also a healthy young man, he might just jump at you if you mention wanting to do it with him.”

Jump at me… The thought made Chinatsu blush as she imagined it.

“Sigh, somehow, seeing you like this makes me feel old, Chinatsu-chan," Kana-san mumbled, her gaze seemingly distant.

Still, a talk, huh... Given everything that had happened with her mother, her thoughts had become quite a bit hazy. Although now was definitely the time to have a proper conversation with Hajime.

“Thank you, Kana-san. I will try to have a proper talk with him!”

“Sure thing. And if Hajime ends up pinning you down, let me know! Oh, and give me your contact info.”

“Yes… eh, even if he does pin me down, I still won’t tell you… Here’s my contact ID. Can I ask for advice again sometime?”

“Of course! I’ve always wanted a little sister or someone younger to talk to like this since I’m an only child. Let’s stay in touch, Chinatsu-chan.”

“Yes, please take care of me from now on, Kana-san.”

As Chinatsu glanced over at Hajime, she noticed he had finished his conversation too. The two men he had been talking to looked somewhat weary as they walked away.

That’s right, we need to have a proper talk.

As autumn turned to winter, the nights were starting to get chilly. However, Chinatsu’s flushed cheeks weren’t just from the cold.

At this moment, she resolved to find some time to sit down with Hajime and talk properly in the coming days.