Chapter 2
"Aaah～."
As Minamino Chinatsu lay in her room's bed, she groaned, hugging her pillow while rolling around in agony. The events of yesterday, or rather, what she had done, wouldn't leave her mind.
(Eh... seriously? I kissed Satou…)
The scene replayed in her mind over and over again. There was no doubt that it had been initiated by Chinatsu herself. If anything, it was more like she had taken his lips rather than just kissed him.
"Uu... And on top of that, I ran away afterwards."
Indeed, the day had been filled with so much excitement that she was still overwhelmed by it. Even someone other than Chinatsu would have overheated.
The day she went with Satou to meet the new owner of Shiro—the kitten that had been the catalyst for her meeting with Satou—was the first time they went out together, so she had to strike a balance between being enthusiastic without going overboard, not being rude to Satou, and making sure she looked as cute as possible in her outfit. Surprisingly, even though Satou wasn't used to girls, he had complimented her outfit with ease, which was a pleasant start. And she had shared her feelings of loneliness and unease about the unknown Kanade-san with him, to which he kindly responded, "I get what you mean," making her somewhat calm her nerves down.
Satou might not have realized it, but he naturally walked on the side facing the road, subtly adjusted his pace to match hers, and behaved politely when they arrived, even when interacting with adults. While Chinatsu was often praised for being outgoing and sociable, true communication might involve things like naturally greeting others, complimenting them, and being considerate.
[Even though he's a high schooler, he's practical, calm, and a really wonderful guy.]
Kanade-san was truly a nice person, and their conversation had been enjoyable. And when Satou left the table, the words Kanade-san whispered to her in secret had oddly made her happy.
"...I was really acting too much like his girlfriend. Kanade-san was grinning all the time, while Satou didn't have any reaction at all."
Minamino muttered while flapping her legs.
And after that, she fell into silence, partly because she didn't want to return the duplicate key that Satou had given her under the pretext of taking care of Shiro. But even during that silent moment, something became apparent to her: When she was with Satou, those silent moments weren't scary or uncomfortable, but were rather akin to comfortable calmness, unlike when she was with other friends donning her mask. Even the present she had carefully chosen seemed to bring a great deal of happiness to him as he smiled so happily, and that made her feel truly content.
"Meeting that guy was the worst, but thanks to that, I got to know Satou better..."
Probably, if that hadn't happened, she would have parted ways with Satou at the train station and gone straight home. Even then, they might have stayed as good friends, but it would have taken a long time for her to hear about his past.
And besides—.
(...Since when did I even start thinking about kissing him...)
First, as such thoughts came to mind, Chinatsu found herself questioning if she had always intended to do that someday, and she flapped her legs once again.
Even if she rolled around in her heart's content while thinking such things, her mother was still at work today. Even if she made a ruckus, she wouldn't be scolded. Despite feeling lonely, she couldn't bring herself to say it during the times she spent alone since spring.
(But Satou… had always been alone in that house, hadn't he?)
It wasn't on the level of her mom being only focused on working or her dad leaving. In that house, there would never be anyone other than Satou.
A sense of loneliness permeated it, yet Satou's home felt comfortable. She would unlock the door without his permission, close the curtains, turn on the lights, hug Shiro, sit on the sofa, read the book Satou recommended, or play games. On days when her mom couldn't return, she would stay there until Satou came home. She'd greet him with "Welcome home," or walk with him to the station, even when he had just returned.
With Satou, she could engage in lively conversations while playing games, chat about trivial matters, feel a crisis in her feminine power due to the meals he made, do homework together, and the fact that a cup was naturally prepared specifically for her would always make her heart race. She even went to watch him play street basketball. Seeing Satou's world for the first time, encountering adults she had never met before, and being told to come again, she felt like she had grown up a little.
Everything was fresh, and the more she spent time with Satou, the more she got to know his good qualities.
Being with Satou, someone who filled the indescribable loneliness within her, someone she didn't want to see wearing such a sad expression, even if he found himself wanting to cry but unable to shed tears, seeing Satou in that child-like and vulnerable state, she couldn't help but cry in his stead and cling to him.
Though he calls himself "someone like me," she wanted to tell him that it wasn't the case at all. Driven by impulse, she even pressed her lips against his.
Surely, the feelings within her could always have a name attached to it. She didn't quite understand it, but she also knew she wouldn't understand it.
But acknowledging it was frightening. Was this feeling the same as the feelings directed at her during middle school?
Like her parents, would it eventually break? Was it just as fragile as those vulnerable things that were broken when the real Chinatsu emerged without her mask?
She didn't know.
Satou was more than just a friend. He was special to Chinatsu. She wanted to hug him, hold his hand, and touch him.
—And what was the difference between that and those temporary boyfriends who sought her?
The scariest part was that when she kissed Satou, she realized she wanted more.
(...Still, if I think about it, aren't I just a messed-up girl who pried into his heartache, seized his vulnerability, stole his lips, and then fled?)
"Aaah～!"
She repeated this cycle many times.
Beep―.
Every time her phone rang, she pounced on it to check. It was a message in the group chat with her friends.
Still no contact from Satou.
What did Satou think about her? She didn't think he disliked her. In fact, if there were no communities outside of school he belonged to but hadn't shared to her yet, she was certain that she was the only girl he got along with the best. Even looking at him with biased eyes, one would need to get to know Satou well to understand his true essence. Like Chinatsu.
Moreover, she couldn't sense any other girl's presence in that house—probably.
"Maybe we could, like, become a couple or something."
She muttered. To be honest, while she could attach a name to her feelings, naming their relationship was scary.
It would probably create a huge stir in their high school. It wasn't all bad, but it wasn't all good either. Unfortunately, Chinatsu was aware of her influence. Gossip, malicious backbiting, jealousy, spite.
She couldn't be insensitive. She couldn't be overly optimistic. And worn out by such things, she had met Satou Hajime and ended up leaning on him. That's why she didn't want to push Satou into such a position.
(...Uu, why did I run away like that in the end... Yesterday's me was such an idiot~ But still, I want to try things like going on a date openly after school...)
Saying that, she rolled over once again and remembered something.
Originally, her parents were supposed to come to the entrance ceremony, but if not for her anxiety about her family's situation, she had planned to spend high school trying to keep a low profile. And, truthfully, she had been doing research all along.
"Right, let's do that!"
The idea that came to her was very appealing.
However, little did Chinatsu know that because of her embarrassment of the previous day, the courage to send that message to him would take one night later, until the after-school hours when there was no longer any time left.
—————
(2/7)
