Volume 4 - Me, Her, and our Changing World
Chapter 1
The sound of a bell rang out. The bell tolled 108 times, to be exact, representing the number of earthly desires.
Last year, I didn't remember hearing this sound, but this year, Chinatsu and I were listening to it together. As for Suzuka-san, for the first time since getting married, she was spending New Year's Eve drinking with old friends. She left excitedly, saying she was going to vent about the last 20 years but looked happy as she left.
As Chinatsu and I sat there, we both fell silent at the sound of the bell and listened quietly. Surprisingly, the 108 strikes felt long.
I had always wondered why the sound of a bell always seemed to mark the end and the beginning of something.
It signaled the end of one year and the beginning of another. It reminded me of the chimes I heard as a child, the wedding bells celebrating a new union, and the funeral bells marking farewells.
Yet, somehow, listening to the chimes in the same room with someone important made it feel like a new year had begun, a year I could spend with someone special. Just three months ago, I wouldn't have believed it, but now, surprisingly, I was welcoming the New Year with someone who truly mattered to me.
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From the night of December 26th, when I gave Chinatsu the single-winged accessory, to the end of the year, we both recounted to each other how we both spent the past few days apart in Nagano.
Apparently, just before I received her message, Chinatsu's father had visited her grandmother, and Suzuka-san, who had heard about it from their relatives, rushed on the way by express train. It happened to be her company's year-end day, so she got home early and could catch the train quickly.
Their relationship with her father, thanks to Tsukasa-san's meticulous handling, was almost settled on paper. However, emotionally, things weren't so clear-cut, and Suzuka-san was naturally worried.
Meanwhile, Chinatsu and I, oblivious to Suzuka-san's calls, were enjoying our time at the snow festival, even embracing in a park with ice sculptures.
Worried because she couldn’t reach us, Suzuka-san contacted Akane-san, who found us and called out to us in a teasing manner. It was an embarrassing moment that I’d rather forget. Suzuka-san, upon hearing from Akane-san, was relieved and amused at the same time. My bad.
After that, Akane-san gave us a ride, and we met Suzuka-san at the station. Together, we headed to Chinatsu’s grandmother’s house.
The house was about a 15-minute drive away. On the way, Akane-san told us about Chinatsu’s grandmother’s condition, the situation with her father and his new partner, the quarreling relatives, and how Chinatsu had stood up to them. Apparently, her father and his partner, Satomi-san, had since returned to their booked lodging.
The way Chinatsu handled them really felt refreshing! Akane-san spoke with excitement. I don't know if it was word for word but when she reenacted Chinatsu’s declaration about having someone important, Chinatsu and I both blushed. Meeting her relatives with such high expectations was nerve-wracking and it made my stomach churn, though I don't think anyone noticed.
That aside, Suzuka-san, sitting in the passenger seat, remarked, Well said, Chinatsu! He didn't leave us, we left him! From that, it seemed both of them were fine. And although Akane-san was on her father's side of the family, she appeared to side with Chinatsu and Suzuka-san, which was reassuring.
The moment we arrived, I immediately introduced myself to the relatives and was offered a bath. We were then shown to a guest room since it was late. To my surprise, Suzuka-san had a separate room, but Chinatsu and I were placed in the same room with futons already laid down on the floor.
—Why?
As a healthy first-year high school student proud to have what I believed to be a normal sense of propriety, I momentarily wondered if I had somehow crossed into a parallel universe. But, of course, there was a reason why I thought so.
To everyone's surprise, Chinatsu’s grandmother, previously thought to be in critical condition, showed signs of stabilizing, so they called a nearby doctor, who apparently is one of their relatives as well. According to him, her condition seemed to have changed because of something, which made the relatives busy communicating with each other with the exception of Chinatsu's father.
Because of this, Suzuka-san had various discussions to attend to. I considered leaving and sleeping in a hotel given the situation, but she insisted quite forcefully that I stay. Refusing seemed like it would only complicate matters, so I decided to comply and stay.
Apparently, since we were already going to sleep, and there would be people coming and going for discussions in other rooms, it made sense for us to sleep together since we were lovers. Whether it was her being open-minded or trusting, I wasn’t sure.
By the way, Chinatsu, instead of her usual pajamas, was wearing a borrowed yukata-like loungewear with a jacket over it. Compared to the pajamas or sweatshirts she wore when we lived together, she looked much more alluring. Moreover, that day, her affection for me was overflowing, which seriously tested my self-control.
I never grew accustomed to her beauty. Chinatsu was always stunning, not just outwardly, but with an inner radiance that matched her appearance. There were still times I couldn't believe such a wonderful girl was my girlfriend. Her vulnerability and the way she openly showed her love for me made her even more irresistible. Had we been alone at home, I would have found it impossible to resist.
But here, I had no choice but to.
Chinatsu's grandmother's house was a rather spacious single-story building, and the room we stayed in was a traditional Japanese room facing the hallway.
Across the hallway, behind the sliding doors, was the room where Chinatsu's grandmother slept, with people coming in and out. On the other side, separated by another set of sliding doors, was the room where Suzuka-san was planning to stay, as she had laid out her futon there to avoid disturbing us with her and the others’ discussions that may last the whole night. There weren't even doors, let alone locks—just paper sliding doors. Yes, paper.
The stakes were too high; I couldn’t do it.
The best I could do was hold Chinatsu's hand from our adjoining futons, give her a gentle kiss before sleep, turn off the light, and try to quell my desires.
—Unlike the lights, my desires couldn't be switched off with a simple flick. Naturally, I couldn't sleep, feeling the softness of Chinatsu's hand.
The next morning, when Akane-san saw my sleepy face and asked, Did you enjoy last night? I couldn't help but shout, What the hell is there to enjoy in such a situation?! And I wasn't wrong.
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(4/21)
