Volume 4 - Me, Her, and our Changing World
Chapter 2
Chinatsu couldn't help but grin as she looked at the accessory with a single wing hanging beside the bear figurine on her key case. Yesterday, she and Hajime had slept in the same room for the first time. Although they were both drowsy during the first time they confessed to each other, it was actually their first time sleeping side by side, feeling each other's presence. Chinatsu thought she might be too nervous to sleep, but perhaps due to the tension finally breaking, she slept surprisingly well.
Upon waking up, although Akane teased Hajime a bit, he seemed to handle conversations with the adult relatives with ease. He had come all the way here and watching him kindly interact with even the elderly relatives, whom Chinatsu herself sometimes found bothersome, made her feel a bit sorry.
"Since it's the end of the year and I've had a chance to speak with Mother-in-law, let's head back on this evening's train. We can't keep Hajime-kun tied up here forever, especially since your grandmother seems to be stabilizing a bit, perhaps due to her strong will... Many people told me it was apparently because of your efforts, Chinatsu. Thank you, you've done well."
When Suzuka said that, Chinatsu felt both pleased by the compliment and startled by the word "tied up." She wondered if she had been relying too much on Hajime. She knew that Hajime supported himself through part-time jobs, editing videos, and managing stock trading online.
Hajime's time was surely more valuable than Chinatsu's. Even though they were both first-year high school students, the difference between Chinatsu, who was still dependent, and Hajime, who was self-sufficient, was something she had come to realize during their brief time living together.
While Hajime's maturity and good rapport with adults might have played a role, Chinatsu's relatives praised him profusely, likely also due to Chinatsu's bold words the other day. This made Chinatsu both proud and anxious.
She knew that Hajime sometimes felt insecure about being her boyfriend, given his standing at school. Despite this, Chinatsu thought that she knew all of Hajime's good qualities and hoped that, with time, it would be great if they could walk to school together proudly.
But over the past few days, Chinatsu had come to appreciate the man named Satou Hajime even more. She realized just how amazing her boyfriend was, both inside and out, and fell for him all over again.
At the same time, she felt a bit rushed.
There might have been people at their high school who thought Hajime was unworthy of her and that they don't suit each other at all, just like someone in their classroom once did. Such opinions were based only on superficial comparisons between her and Hajime. After all, they were in a place where those in sports clubs were more valued than those in go-home clubs, where academic performance, humor, or looks placed you in some weird hierarchy, jealousy and competition were rampant.
It sounded very ridiculous.
Chinatsu felt that if anyone was unworthy, it was herself.
Even yesterday, if Hajime didn't mention the concept of an outsider to her, she wouldn't have been able to confront her father or say what she did. She wouldn't have been able to properly apologize to her grandmother, either. If she had been alone, she might have been left brooding, unable to even consult her mother, leading to a sad farewell with her grandmother.
Hiyoku Renri. Looking at the single-winged accessory, she imagined herself being one if she didn't have Hajime.
—A bird that can't fly alone, a person who can't stand proudly alone.
Hajime had called himself that, but in reality, he was someone who could soar on his own. He might not have realized it yet, but he was more capable of flying solo than anyone else their age that Chinatsu knew.
As for herself, she was like a fledgling who had thought she could fly, only to realize she had been riding on her parents' wings all along.
What if, one day, someone who is more worthy of Hajime appeared and she was left behind? Chinatsu was terrified at the thought, and at herself for even considering such a thing for a moment.
This is bad, really… I can't believe I was this hopeless...
"What's wrong, Chinatsu-chan? You spent the night with your boyfriend, but you don't look happy."
Lost in thought, she hadn't noticed Akane come up behind her.
"—! ...You scared me, Acchan. Don't sneak up on me like that."
Seemingly surprised by Chinatsu's reaction, Akane gestured for her to follow and led her to another room. When Chinatsu glanced back at Hajime, he gave her a reassuring nod before continuing his conversation with Suzuka and her uncle.
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"So, what's wrong? You look like I did when I was panicking about exams."
"Acchan... the truth is..."
You can dump all your worries on this onee-san, Chinatsu’s older cousin said as she began confiding her thoughts. Akane listened attentively, occasionally showing surprise, and after Chinatsu finished, she said,
"Chinatsu-chan... you sure have grown up, huh. This onee-san is really surprised by your maturity. Love really changes a girl."
"Acchan…?"
I’m being serious here, Chinatsu called Akane when the latter hurriedly waved her hands in front of her face and replied.
"No, no. I wasn't joking. For real, I mean, even though I am at the age where I can start drinking legally and though I work part-time, my university tuition is all on my parents. Honestly, the kind of worries you're dealing with aren't something I can handle if I was a high school student like you, let alone now that I am in university... Do you realize that? Just the fact that you're thinking seriously about standing next to a boyfriend like Hajime-kun shows how much you've matured."
"Eh?"
At Akane’s serious words, Chinatsu let out a voice filled with surprise.
Seeing her reaction, Akane continued.
"Even yesterday, the way you talked to my dad and the uncle who suddenly showed up was impressive. I was next to you but I was just shocked, you know. And was it Satomi-san? Anyway, the way you showed such consideration for her was amazing. That's why my parents... they're not treating you or Hajime-kun like kids anymore, right?"
"Ah..."
That might have been true. It was probably because they weren't treating us as children that we were shown into the same room and treated as if we were family members.
"So there's no need to rush. From my perspective, seeing you after so long, Chinatsu-chan, you’ve become surprisingly mature and beautiful, you know... People can date or even do more just because they think someone is kind of nice. But truly falling in love takes a reason. From what I see and hear, you and Hajime have cultivated that. —Ah, I want a boyfriend like that too! I want to fall in love with someone too!”
Hearing Akane say her last lines with a heartfelt exclamation, Chinatsu couldn't help but laugh.
I see, so Hajime and I are in a relationship that others could find enviable.
"I'll say it again, but you really found a good boyfriend."
"Yeah."
This time, Chinatsu nodded with more conviction than when she had heard it at their last meeting.
I need to grow so I can stand proudly next to Hajime. I don't know how yet, but I'll figure it out little by little.
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(5/21)
