V1 - Chapter 19

Volume 1 - The Abandoned Kitten, Her, and Me.

Chapter 19

Beep... Beep...

In the midst of the deafening silence, all I could simply hear was a steady mechanical sound resonating in the room. I couldn't even utter a word for a while.

I was surrounded by white walls.

Around me were adults dressed in similarly white attire.

And before me lay a girl connected to tubes all over her body, peacefully sleeping. She was the sole family I had left, alive. She was in a sense, in a state of death by legal and medical standards, yet was kept alive by what bound her. She was the only sibling I had, my little sister—whom I would bring death upon with my own hands.

I stood there, clenching my fist so hard it drained of color, yet I didn't raise or strike with it. The day had started like any other, but it wouldn't follow its usual course. It was the day when everything would be taken away from me by something incomprehensible called fate.

—Listen to me calmly... Your family members were involved in an accident.

Even upon hearing those words, my smile broke.

(I don't quite understand your words, sensei.)

I understood the words, but the meaning eluded me. An accident? Dad, Mom, and Miho got into one?

"...I'll be driving you there now. Keep your composure, and do you know your relatives' contact information?"

"I'm sure it'll be alright."

The concerned words of my homeroom teacher and grade head teacher in the hallway didn't resonate with me as reality.

It all began with my sister's selfish desire to go to the beach. My parents and sister had already left in the morning for a celebration trip to celebrate our move. I had planned to join them later by train after briefly attending the club activities at the end-of-term assembly before summer break.

"My parents were what you might call 'eloping', and as a result, I have no contact whatsoever with my maternal relatives. Additionally, my paternal grandparents have passed away. The only remaining relative on my father's side is my uncle, but he's always traveling abroad, so I'm not sure if I can get in touch with him."

"..."

The male and female teachers who had been questioning me fell silent at my words. Perhaps they were thinking about the difficulties that lay ahead for me, manifesting their concern through their silence.

And so, without any real understanding of the situation, I was taken to a prefectural hospital facing the sea in the neighboring prefecture. In the room I entered initially, I saw my parents with fabric covering their faces.

No more laughter or scolding; their lifeless bodies said nothing. Even after seeing that, my mind conjured up thoughts like, "Ah, I've seen this in dramas," as if it were unreal.

A man in a white coat approached. His expression was grave. Then came a brief silence.

Even for a doctor who had relatively grown accustomed to death and delivering such news, what he had to convey to me must have been a heavy reality.

"...Miho, my little sister, where is she?"

Breaking the silence, it was my voice that spoke. I was seeking answers. There were supposed to be three of them in the car.

"...This way."

Saying that, I followed the doctor who walked ahead. Only the sound of footsteps echoed until the doctor stopped in front of a certain room.

(...Miho)

It was then that I finally understood. The moments when the teachers at school spoke to me, when I saw my silent parents earlier, the feeling of floating in an unreal world like on a television drama, all merged with the world in front my eyes, the reality. 

"Aahh… ah…"

Unconsciously, my voice slipped out. Even though it was my own, it sounded distant. I no longer felt the pain in my hand, which had turned white from gripping too tightly, nor did I notice the surroundings. I only looked in front.

On the other side of the glass window through the room, lay a girl connected to numerous tubes—.

"...Aaah… ah…"

The scene from moments ago came back to me.

The image of my parents lying in a windowless, dark room—.

"..."

And I came to realize it. That I was now alone in this world.

"...I've heard that the accident involving your parents and your sister was quite severe."

The words were delivered to me by the doctor as I faced them without uttering a word. The conversation began as such. Seeing no reaction from me, the doctor continued, speaking with a level of courtesy and composure that seemed almost mismatched towards a child.

"When they were rushed to the hospital, your parents had already passed away... Your sister was in critical condition, unconscious, but there were still signs of life, so immediate life-saving measures were taken... However…"

At that point, the doctor cut his words short, not to calm me down but to compose himself before delivering the next part. And then he continued.

"...However, despite our efforts, a short while ago, Miho was determined to be in a state where spontaneous breathing was no longer possible. At present, she is being kept alive through an artificial respirator, with her heart and lung functions being supported."

"...You mean, she's in a vegetative state?"

To my words, the doctor shook his head.

"...No, a typical vegetative state involves the loss of partial or complete cerebral function, resulting in an unconscious state. However, the brainstem and cerebellum often retain some function, allowing for spontaneous breathing. Occasionally, recovery is possible, and this is fundamentally different from brain death. However, her current situation is…"

"...Does that mean there's no chance of recovery?"

"...Yes."

Though struggling for words, I managed to ask, which the doctor nodded in return.

"...Her current situation is an irreversible cessation of all brain functions, including the brainstem. There is no possibility of recovery... Even with the artificial respirator, her heart is likely to stop within a few days."

"...In other words..."

"...In her current situation, it's possible to keep her on an artificial respirator until her heart stops spontaneously. However, the decision for that is generally left to the family's wishes."

"...That's..."

At the doctor's words, I understood. Surprisingly, my heart and my mind were remarkably calm.

"...Can I go near my little sister… Miho?"

After a long silence, I asked the doctor.

"..."

The doctor nodded silently and gave us, me and Miho, some time.

I wonder how much time passed after that.

Ten minutes. Maybe an hour.

Ending that moment, which felt like an eternity yet a fleeting instant, I once again looked down at the girl in front of me.

(She looks like she's suffering. Even though she's usually so busy laughing or getting angry.)

Artificially breathing, and the incongruous sound of intermittent beeps, along with the tubes that seemed disproportionately connected to the girl, appeared to me as if she was struggling to breathe more than anything else.

"...Please, help Miho, my little sister, find relief."

Even though the voice that delivered those words didn't feel like my own, I made a decision of my own accord.

Regrettably, I wasn't a child to the extent of not understanding the doctor's words.

And yet, I wasn't an adult to the point of being confident about letting things remain as they were.

So, I voiced it once more.

"She looks so pained, please put an end to it... Miho disliked being in pain."

To that statement, the doctor, the only person present, simply nodded in silence.

The beeping sounds ceased.

"20th July, 2021, 16:18. Time of cardiac arrest confirmed."

Listening to the doctor's words, I continued to gaze at my little sister's face.

—————

[T/N: i was in the kitchen cutting onions with my left hand while my right hand held my phone to translate this chapter. yep, yep. that's the reason why i had some tears in my eyes. nah bro, i wasn't crying, i was cutting onions. (3/4)]